Forever with the Lord

Octavius Winslow

The Clouds Of The Christian, The Chariot Of God
“Who maketh the clouds his chariot” (Psalm l04:3).
If God were perfectly comprehensible in his being and government to a finite mind, then either he must forego his claim to divinity, or we must cease to be human. And yet in nothing, scarcely, is the Christian more at fault than in attempting to fathom those dispensations of his government in which he conceals his purposes and enshrouds himself, and failing, he then questions the wisdom and rectitude of his procedure! But how gently does the result rebuke and confound our misapprehension and distrust. When from the secret place of thunder he utters his voice, when in his dealings darkness is under his feet, when he makes darkness his secret place, his pavilion round about him dark waters and thick clouds of the skies (Psa. 18:11), even then he is but making a way for his love to us, which shall appear all the more real and precious by the very cloud-chariot in which it travels.

The believer in Christ has nothing slavishly to dread, but everything filially to hope from God. So fully is he pardoned, so completely is he justified, so perfectly is he reconciled to God, that even the darkest dispensations in which he hides himself shall presently unveil the brightest views of his character and love; and thus the lowering cloud that deepened in its darkness and grew larger as it approached shall dissolve and vanish, leaving no object visible to the eye but him whose essence and name is love. Oh, it is because we have such shallow views of God’s love that we have such defective views of God’s dealings! We blindly interpret the symbols of his providence because we so imperfectly read the engraving of his heart. Faith finds it difficult to spell the word ‘love’ as written in the shaded characters of its discipline; to believe that the cloud which looks so somber and threatening is the love-chariot of him who for our ransom gave himself unto the death because he so loved us!

The subject on which this chapter engages our thoughts presents another path heavenward for the Christian. And as this path is frequently trodden by many, we desire to present it in such an aspect as shall help onward those who are walking in darkness having no light, or around whose way the dense dark clouds of divine dispensations are gathering, filling the soul with fear and trembling. He makes the clouds his chariot; and soothed with this assurance, the beclouded, benighted traveler may be still and know that he is God. Let us view some of those clouds of the Christian pilgrimage which Christ makes his chariot.

The heavens are draped with many clouds of varied forms and hues. Such are, figuratively, the dealings of God with his people. Our Lord has many chariots. It is recorded of Solomon that his chariots were fourteen hundred; but the chariots of God are twenty thousand. In every cloud in the history of the church and in the experience of the saints is a divine chariot, and every chariot is, like the King of Israel’s, paved in the midst with love. We may illustrate this by a reference to Christ’s state-chariot, or, in other words, the Lord’s appearance to his people in the cloud of his essential and divine glory. It was in this cloud he entered and filled the tabernacle ‘so that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud: for the glory of the LORD filled the house of the LORD’ (I Kings 8:11). In this same cloud, too, he descended upon Mount Sinai: And a cloud covered the mount. And the glory of the LORD abode upon mount Sinai’ (Exod. 24:15-16). The same glorious chariot was seen descending and lighting upon Mount Tabor, in that sublime and expressive scene of our Lord’s transfiguration, when ‘he received from God the Father honour and glory, when there came such a voice to him from the excellent glory, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased’ (2 Pet. 1: 1 7). The same chariot of state waited his ascension and bore him back to heaven, reinvested with the glory which he had with the Father before the world was; for as he went up and his form disappeared from the gaze of his disciples, ‘a cloud received him out of their sight’ (Acts 1:9). In like manner, descending in the state-chariot of his own glory and the glory of his Father, shall he come again. Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him’ (Rev. 1:7). Solemn scene! Sublime advent! Blessed hope of those who love and look and long for his appearing! Saints of God, it speedeth on! The day of your full redemption draweth nigh. The state-chariot of our Immanuel is preparing for its descent to the world, conveying him to his church, his loving, longing bride. Lord, why tarry the wheels of thy chariot? Come, quickly come, and terminate the reign of sin and sorrow and death in the dominion of holiness and happiness and endless life, and take thy wearying church to thyself.

Come, great Redeemer, open wide
The curtains of the parting sky;
On a bright cloud in triumph ride,
And on the wind’s swift pinions fly.

Come, King of kings, with thy bright train,
Cherubs and seraphs, heavenly hosts;
Assume thy right, enlarge thy reign,
As far as earth extends her coasts.

Come, Lord, and where thy cross once stood,
There plant thy banner, fix thy throne;
Subdue the rebels by thy Word,
And claim the nations as thine own.

May we not pause at this part of our subject and ask the reader, have you seen the King riding in his chariot of state? To drop the figure, have you seen his glory, as the glory of the only-begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth? Oh, it is a grand spectacle, the glory that is in Christ Jesus, the glory of his person, his atoning work, his redeemed church! Blessed are the eyes enlightened to behold it! Deem not your Christianity as true, nor your religion as sound, nor your hope as valid, unless you have seen by faith’s spiritual, far-discerning eye Jesus in his divinity, the King riding in majesty and beauty in this cloud-chariot of his essential dignity and glory. It is only in the beaming effulgence of this glory that all our demerit and deformity is absorbed and annihilated. So divine, blinding, and overpowering is the essential glory of our redeeming God that a believing sinner, enveloped by its beams, is changed into the same image, from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. All his unrighteousness, his sins, and hell-deservings are consumed and destroyed by the divine Sun of righteousness. Jesus makes this cloud his chariot and waits to bless us with its vision.

There are, too, divine truths—the mysteries of the gospel, for example—which may be regarded as the cloud chariots of God. It is a favorite maxim with the objector to Christianity—plausible yet fallacious—that where mystery begins faith terminates. And yet never did the genius of error forge a weapon more weak and powerless with which to attack our divine and holy faith! If the Bible be the revelation of God, mysteries must necessarily form an essential part, if not its very substance. It would indeed be astonishing if God should not know more than man; or that if, in condescending to reveal to man his being, his will, and his heart, there should not be problems in divine truth man cannot solve, depths he cannot reach, mysteries he cannot unravel, and revelations he may not reconcile. Such, for example, are the revealed doctrines of the Trinity, the incarnation, atonement, election, sovereignty, the new birth, and resurrection. We own the mystery which envelops so much connected with these great verities of our faith; that there are depths too profound for reason’s line to touch, modes of existence which forbid the rash doubts of the skeptic and the vain speculation of the philosopher, while they demand the unquestioning faith and profound homage of the believing mind.

And yet are we then to reject them? We may, we do, believe a thousand things in nature which the mind cannot fully comprehend. Our very existence is a mystery; every movement of the body, every action of mind, every volition of will, every emotion and affection of the heart encompasses us with mystery. Yet on that account do we doubt our own existence? My being confounds, but does it transcend my reason? And are we not at every step confronting mysteries in nature and in providence which we accept as credible, which otherwise we must reject as incomprehensible? If, then, my reader, your mind is perplexed, agitated, and distressed respecting these clouds which veil so much connected with the revealed truths of the gospel, learn this lesson—that Christ makes these very clouds his chariot. In each and all of these profound yet glorious verities of our faith, these great and precious doctrines of the gospel, Christ is revealed Christ is embodied, Christ travels. The gospel is the vehicle in which Christ makes his constant advent to our souls; and if our reason may not be able perfectly to comprehend all the parts of the vehicle, let it content our faith that Jesus, the revelation ‘ the substance, and glory of all divine truth, occupies it; and that ere long the cloud of mystery into which we entered with trembling will, as in the transfiguration, dissolve into light and splendor, pure and soothing, and we shall see Jesus only.

Regard it as one of your chief mercies that your salvation depends not upon reason but upon faith. You are not called upon fully to comprehend, but unquestioningly to believe and love. You are not the less saved because your faith deals with obscurity, nor is your faith less real, precious, or saving because it abjures the wisdom of the sage for the docile spirit of the child, and the learning of the philosopher for the humility of the disciple. Let your great study be the mystery of Christ’s love to sinners—the mystery of Christ’s love to you. The apostle was content to leave all mysteries to the day of perfect knowledge, if he could but attain unto love. Though I know all mysteries, and have not love, I am nothing. Study that grand truth, ‘God is love’, as embodied in the cross of Christ, and you can well afford to refer all that is obscure and hard to understand in revealed truth to the day when we shall know all, as we also are known. Cease to dispute, cavil, and speculate on the subject of religion and revealed truth, and receive the gospel and enter into the kingdom of Christ as a little child.

In the momentous matter of your future destiny, you have but to deal with two specific and distinct facts – your sinnership and Christ’s Saviorship. What if you solve all the problems of science, and fathom all the depths of learning, and unravel all the mysteries of truth, and yet are lost! What will your speculations, and researches, and discoveries avail, if at last they be found ineffectual to distil one drop of the water of life upon the tongue, now caviling and profane, then fevered and tormented in the quenchless flame? Are you not, by your present persistent course of unbelief, pride, and rejection of truth, in danger of finding yourself there? Oh, it is of infinite importance to you that you come as sinful to the blood of Christ, as condemned to his righteousness, as ignorant and unlearned to the feet of Christ. The great problem you have to work out is your own salvation. The grand mystery you have to unravel is the mystery of your union with Jesus. The momentous questions you have to decide are the place, the society, and the employment of your endless future! Where, with whom, and how will you spend your long eternity? Compared with these grave considerations, all your doctrinal hair-splitting and your religious speculations, your vain disputes and your dreamy hopes, are as the follies of driveling idiocy, or the aberrations of a mind insane.

Shakespeare portrays his ‘Lear’ as gathering straws with the hand that had wielded a scepter, and devoting to childish thoughts a mind which once gave laws to a kingdom. With a yet more powerful hand the sacred historian describes the monarch of Babylon quitting the occupation and abodes of men and betaking himself to the pursuits and companionship of irrational animals. But what are these sad pictures of a mind diseased, wrecked, and ruined, compared with the moral madness of the man who disbelieves the gospel, cavils at truth, and perils the eternal interests of his soul—who employs the rational powers with which God has endowed him in attempting to subvert the foundations of Christianity, to extinguish the beacon light erected on the headlands and the shores of time to guide the spiritual voyager safe to eternity, involving in the destruction of others Ws own personal salvation?

The clouds of God’s providential government are no less his chariot. ‘Clouds and darkness are round about him’ (Psa. 97:2), and in these dispensations of his government he moves among men, and especially his saints. It is by a ‘cloudy pillar’, sometimes turning towards us gleams of light, at other times casting deep and dark shadows on our way, that God is conducting us heavenward. Oh, how many and how varied in form and in hue are the trying, afflictive, and disciplinary dealings of our heavenly Father! How soon the bright blue sky smiling down upon us may be wreathed with the drapery of clouds, each one dark and portentous. God blows upon wealth and it vanishes, touches health and it droops, smites the creature and it dies, and we exclaim in the words of David, ‘I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears’ (Psa. 6:6). But the night of cloud and gloom is to the kingdom of grace what the darkness of night is to the kingdom of nature. Darkness possesses the twofold property of concealing and revealing; and it would perhaps be impossible to say in which it most excelled, whether it does not reveal as much, if not more, beauty and wonder than it veils. Those clouds of providential dispensations which turn our day into night bring out to view such constellations of divine promises, discover such perfection of the divine character, and present such discoveries of divine love, as to make even night more wonderful and resplendent than day. Ah, beloved, we should know but little what Christ’s chariot of love was, but for the clouds in which he comes to us! Are cloudy dispensations gathering around you? Are God’s ways such as fill you with fear and foreboding, agitation and alarm? Does sickness threaten, do resources fail, friendships chill, changes in the relations or social position of life approach? Is separation feared, death anticipated, followed in its gloomy wake by weakened dependencies, closed channels, sundered ties, the sad farewell to a parent’s society, the home of childhood, and the dearest, sweetest ties of earth? Oh, these gathering clouds are but the Lord’s chariot, in which he rides to thee in all the wisdom of His dealings, the faithfulness of his covenant, the tenderness of his love, and the righteousness of his procedure.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust him for his grace,
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

But consider who it is that rides in this chariot. It is the Lord your God. Many of God’s people are so absorbed in their contemplation of the chariot as to overlook the one who sits in it. Their emotions vary according to the appearance which it presents. If the cloud is bright and promising, their feelings and hopes are correspondingly so; but should it wear a somber, threatening appearance, faith sinks and fears rise. But faith has nothing to do with the chariot, whatever may be its magnitude, shape, or hue, but with Christ in the chariot and with God in the cloud. For example, with regard to divine truth, it is not with the vehicle of truth itself, but with Christ as revealed in the truth, that our faith must deal. I may not be able to comprehend and understand all the parts of the chariot—its complexity may baffle, its gorgeousness may blind me—but I may be able to see and understand who is enthroned upon its seat.

If the mystery of the doctrine of the Trinity, and of the incarnation, and of the atonement, and of election, is so profound that I cannot explain or comprehend it, I still may discern in them one glorious object, and discerning that object, it were enough for my salvation. I can see Jesus in the Trinity, Jesus in the incarnation, Jesus in the atonement, Jesus in election, and this will suffice until the night of divine mysteries gives place to the meridian sunshine of a perfect and eternal day of knowledge and glory; and then I shall as fully understand the mysterious construction and comprehend all the different parts of the chariot as my mind will be capable of knowing, and my heart of loving him, whose name is Wonderful, who rode in it to my salvation. Then shall we know even as also we are known. Oh, how fully and blessedly shall we know Jesus then! How gloriously will this great mystery of godliness, God manifest in the flesh, unveil to our enlarged and sanctified intellect. We shall no more see the King in his beauty as through a glass darkly, nor the good land very far off. With souls perfected in holiness, how clear will be the vision, how transparent the medium, how glorious the Object! There shall be no more night of mystery, no more night of obscurity, no more night of sin, no more night of weeping. No disease shall shade the intellect, no prejudice shall warp, no shock shall unhinge it. No adversity shall touch the heart, no bereavement shall sadden, no changed and chilled affection shall collapse it.

That there will be gradations of knowledge and degrees of glory, I think is probable. There are so in the Church of God on earth; I see nothing to exclude the same from the Church of God in heaven. But this will not in the slightest degree affect the happiness or glory of the saints. Is there less beauty in a tuhp-bed, or in a conservatory of flowers, because there is so rich an assemblage of varied colors? Or, is there less splendor in the heavenly bodies because there is so great a variety of magnitude, effulgence, and orbit? And will there be less enjoyment, or less beauty, or less song amidst the countless numbers who throng the temple above, because ‘One star differeth from another star in glory’ (1 Cor. 15:41)? Oh, no, the glory and the happiness of each will be full and perfect! Every spirit will possess a happiness and reflect a glory equal to its capacity. As two luminous bodies in the celestial system may shine in perfection, though in widely different orbits and with different degrees of splendor, and as two streams, the rivulet and the river, may course their way through landscape, the one gliding in simple, pensive beauty, the other rolling in majestic waves, and yet each filling its channel, both equally charming the eye and declaring the glory of God; so the ‘spirits of just men made perfect’ (Heb. 12:23) shall each be a differing, yet full, vessel of happiness. The image of God will shine with full-orbed splendour in both, though with different intensity, and by each one shall Christ perfect to himself endless praise.

Oh, beloved, if we but reach that world of purity and of bliss, we shall be so satisfied with the orbit we roll in, the glory we emit, and the happiness we feel, as never to question the goodness or the righteousness of God in the sphere assigned us! Christ will then be all in all to us, and we shall be satisfied with all that Christ has done. I think that our bliss will be so complete, our joy so full, and our glory so resplendent, we shall scarcely be conscious that there is another saint fuller, happier, or more glorious than ourselves. Blessed world of glory, we long to be within thy walls! Open, ye everlasting doors, and admit us, that we may eat of the tree of life and recline upon the sunlight banks of the crystal river that makes glad the city of our God.

Salem, city of the holy,
We shall be within thy walls:
There, beside yon crystal river,
There, beneath life’s wondrous tree,

There, with nought to cloud or sever,
Ever with the Lamb to be!
Heir of glory!
That shall be for thee and me!

The Lord, too, is equally in all the providential clouds which unfold his government and trace our pilgrimage heavenward. It is our wisdom and our happiness to know that there is not an event or circumstance, a cloud or a sunbeam, in our personal history and experience that is not a vehicle of Christ. He makes the clouds his chariot; and his providential dispensations, whatever their form or their hue, are his means of approaching and visiting us. ‘The LORD hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet’ (Nahum 1:3). Fear not, oh Christian traveler, that dark, lowering cloud rising above thee. It grows large, and it looks threatening, and thou thinkest it will overtake and consume thee before thou hast crossed the plain and reached the shelter. Tremble not, it will roll no thunder, it will flash no lightning! The cross of Christ is the great lightning conductor for the Church of God. Around that cross, law and justice met in awful array, the thunderbolt struck and the lightning scathed the Son of God, and upon him they spent their force. And now beneath the shelter of that cross, the penitent sinner may safely stand, and the darkest cloud, and the loudest thunder, and the most vivid lightning that gathers and verberates and illumines above shall pass him by untouched, for there is now ‘no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus’ (Rom. 8:1).

Why, then, fear the dealings, and the readings, and the chastenings of God in providence? That somber chariot that appears at thy door, enters thy abode, mounts into thy chamber, is the chariot of love, the chariot of Jesus. Christ is in that adversity, Christ is in that loss, Christ is in that bereavement, Christ is in that sickness; in a word, that cloud, whatever may be its nature, its form, and its darkness what it may, is one of the twenty thousand chariots of God in which he rideth to thy help, in his excellency, on the sky. Oh, learn to see Christ and to deal closely with God in all his dispensations and dealings with you. No enemy bent on destruction, no foe armed with vengeance, sits in the cloud chariot that approaches you—it is your Father, your covenant God, your Redeemer. It is he to whose heart you are more precious than the universe, in whose eye you are more beautiful than angels, and on whose ear the accents of your voice fall with a melody infinitely surpassing the sweetest cherub before the throne.

Look not, I beseech you, at the somber hue of the chariot, but rather at the love and loveliness and graciousness of him who sits within it. It is your beloved Lord! His person is white and ruddy, human and divine. His countenance is brighter than the sun shining in its strength. His voice is gentle, tender, and winning, uttering the speech and the accent and the words of love. Then be not afraid. Christ will never send an empty chariot to his people. When his chariot lights at our door, we may be assured that he is in it. No angel, no ransomed spirit shall occupy the seat, but he himself. Welcome, then, the visit of your gracious King. He comes laden with the ‘sure mercies of David’, freighted with covenant blessings and bearing the sweet grapes and the fragrant flowers gleaned from the vineyards and the paradise of heaven. He comes in this cloud to talk with and to manifest himself to you and to make you more intimately and personally acquainted with himself, with his truth and his love. Welcome him to your dwelling, receive him into your heart, and bid him abide with you there, never to leave you again. Be not satisfied unless you discern the Ying in the chariot. This only will dispel your fears and reconcile you to the dispensation, however dark and painful it may be. The moment you realize, ‘Thou art near, O Lord’—that moment your heaving, panting bosom will be at rest. The disciples feared as they entered into the cloud upon the Mount of Transfiguration, but discovering the Lord in it, their trembling was changed into confidence, their apprehension into joy, and they desired to build their tabernacle on its summit and no more descend to the toil and the strife below.

Beloved, are you entering some overshadowing cloud trembling and apprehensive? Fear not! Thy Lord is in it, and a Father’s voice of love shall speak to thee from out of its veiling shadows, saying, ‘When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Savior’ (Isa. 43:2-3). Glorious cloud that enshrines the form of my redeeming God! Welcome, thou coming chariot, that brings Jesus near to my soul. Thy vesture is dark, thy form gigantic, thy appearance threatening, but my heart shall not fear, nor my faith falter, for in this will I be confident, that he makes the clouds his chariot, and in this chariot comes my Savior to shelter, to soothe, and to bless me. Truly, ‘there is none like unto the God of Jeshurun, who rideth upon the heaven in thy help, and in his excellency on the sky. The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms’ (Deut. 33:26-27). Ere long another chariot will appear at your door, the chariot sent to bear you home to God, to Christ, to heaven. We know not what form this messenger will as- sume, whether it will be Christ’s state-chariot, which shall convey him in person to us, or whether it shall be Christ’s chariot of death, which will convey us to him; but this we believe and are assured of, that in a very little while we shall see the Lord and be with him forever. The chariot is preparing for us, let us be preparing for the chariot. Let us so live detached from, and above, the world, and creatures, and earthly delights; let us so live in fellowship with God and in communion with divine and eternal things, that when the Lord’s chariot gently knocks at our door, we may have nothing to do but to step into it and away to heaven! Aged saint, art thou looking through the window and the lattice of thy frail tabernacle, exclaiming, ‘Why is his chariot so long in coming. Why tarry the wheels of his chariots?’ (Judg. 5:28).

Be patient and trustful; the Lord’s time is best, and ere long thou shalt exclaim, ‘It is the voice of my Beloved that knocketh! The Master is come and calleth for me. Earth, farewell! Friends, farewell! Parents, kindred, wife, children, home, farewell! Sorrow, suffering, trial, sin, farewell! I go to be with Jesus forever!’ And then a cloud of glory shall receive you out of their sight, and so shall you ever be with the Lord.

Forever with the Lord!
Amen; so let it be,
Lifefrom the dead is in that word,
‘Tis immortality.

Here in the body pent,
Absent from him I roam,
Yet nightly pitch my moving tent
A day’s march nearer home.

My Father’s house on high,
Home of my soul, so near,
At times, to faith’s far-seeing eye
Thy golden gates appear!

Yet clouds will intervene,
And all my prospect flies,
Like Noah’s dove, I flit between
Rough seas and stormy skies.

And the clouds depart,
The winds and waters cease,
While sweetly o’er my gladdend heart
Expands the bow of peace.

In darkness as in light,
Hidden alike from view,
I sleep, I wake, as in his sight,
Who looks all nature through.

Forever with the Lord!
Father, if ’tis thy will,
The promise of that faithful word
Even here to me fulfil.

Be thou at my right hand,
Then can I never fail,
Uphold thou me, and I shall stand,
Fight, and I must prevail.

Knowing as I am known,
How shall I love that word!
And oft repeat before the throne,
Forever with the Lord!

Forever with the Lord!
Amen; so let it be,
Life from the dead is in that word,
‘Tis immortality.


Forever with the Lord!
Amen; so let it be,
Life from the dead is in that word,
‘Tis immortality.

Here in the body pent,
Absent from Him I roam,
Yet nightly pitch my moving tent
A day’s march nearer home.

My Father’s house on high,
Home of my soul, so near,
At times, to faith’s far-seeing eye
Thy golden gates appear!

Yet clouds will intervene,
And all my prospect flies,
Like Noah’s dove, I flit between
Rough seas and stormy skies.

And the clouds depart,
The winds and waters cease,
While sweetly o’er my gladdend heart
Expands the bow of peace.

In darkness as in light,
Hidden alike from view,
I sleep, I wake, as in His sight,
Who looks all nature through.

Forever with the Lord!
Father, if ’tis Thy will,
The promise of that faithful word
Even here to me fulfil.

Be Thou at my right hand,
Then can I never fail,
Uphold Thou me, and I shall stand,
Fight, and I must prevail.

Knowing as I am known,
How shall I love that word!
And oft repeat before the throne,
Forever with the Lord!

Forever with the Lord!
Amen; so let it be,
Life from the dead is in that word,
‘Tis immortality

Octavius Winslow

 

A Most Precious Enjoyment

Jonathan Edwards (1703-1758)
Let us be thankful for the institution of the Christian Sabbath.

It is a thing wherein God hath shown His mercy to us and His care for our souls. He shows that He by His infinite wisdom is contriving for our good. Christ teaches us that the Sabbath was made for man: “The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath” (Mar. 2:27). It was made for the profit and for the comfort of our souls. Continue reading “A Most Precious Enjoyment”

Loving Your Wife as Yourself

DM Lloyd.Jones

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.—Ephesians 5:28

The husband must realize that his wife is a part of himself. He will not feel this instinctively; he has to be taught it, and the Bible in all its parts teaches it. In other words, the husband must understand that he and his wife are not two: they are one. The apostle keeps on repeating that: “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself…They two shall be one flesh…We are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones” (Eph 5:28, 31, 30). That is all true of our relationship to the Lord; it is true also in this other relationship.

I would therefore put it in this way: it is not sufficient for us even to regard our wives as partners. They are partners, but they are more than partners. You can have two men in business who are partners, but that is not the analogy. The analogy goes higher than that. It is not a question of partnership, though it includes that idea. There is another phrase that is often used—at least, it used to be common—that puts it so much better and that seems to me to be an unconscious statement of the Christian teaching. It is the expression used by men when they refer to their wives as “my better half.” Now that is exactly right. She is not a partner; she is the other half of the man. “They two shall be one flesh.” “My better half.” The very word half puts the whole case that the apostle elaborates here. We are not dealing with two units, two entities, but dealing with two halves of one—“They two shall be one flesh.” Therefore, in the light of this, the husband must no longer think singly or individually. That should be quite impossible in marriage, says the apostle, because, “He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” He is in a sense not loving somebody else, he is loving himself. Such is the difference that marriage makes.

On the practical level, therefore, the whole of the husband’s thinking must include his wife also. He must never think of himself in isolation or in detachment. The moment he does so, he has broken the most fundamental principle of marriage. Everybody sees it when it happens on the physical level, but the real damage is done before that, on the intellectual and the spiritual level. In a sense, the moment a man thinks of himself in isolation, he has broken the marriage. And he has no right to do that! There is a sense in which he cannot do it because the wife is a part of himself. But if it happens, he is certain to inflict grievous damage on his wife; and it is a damage in which he himself will be involved because she is a part of him. He is therefore even acting against himself, did he but realize it. His thinking, therefore, must never be personal in the sense of being individualistic. He is only the half, and what he does involves of necessity the other half. The same applies to his desires. He must never have any desire for himself alone. He is no longer one man, he is no longer free in that sense; his wife is involved in all his desires. It is his business therefore to see that he is always fully alive to these considerations. He must never think of his wife, in other words, as an addition. Still less—I am sorry that I have to use such an expression—as an encumbrance;56 but there are many who do so…

[A husband] must therefore deliberately remind himself constantly of what is true of him in this married state, and that must govern and control all his thinking, all his wishing, all his desiring, indeed the totality of his life and activity.

But we can go further and put this more strongly. Verse 28 closes with the words, “He that loveth his wife loveth himself ”; but we remember that the apostle, in describing the relationship between the Lord and the church, has used the analogy of the body. “So,” he further says in the same verse, “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.” Then he elaborates it in verse 29: “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.” Here, then, is the teaching: that we not only have to realize that the husband and wife are one, but the husband must realize that the wife is actually a part of himself according to this analogy of the body. A man’s attitude to his wife, says the apostle, should be his attitude, as it were, to his body. That is the analogy, and it is more than an analogy…The woman was originally taken out of the man (Gen 2:21-22). There we have the proof of the fact that she is a part of the man, and that describes the characteristic of the unity. The man, therefore, is told this: “So ought men to love their wives as their own body.” Now that little word as is a most important and vital one because we can easily misunderstand it. Paul does not say, “So ought men to love their wives in the same way as they love their bodies.” That is not the meaning. The meaning is, “So ought men to love their wives because they are their own bodies.” A man loves his wife as his body—that is what he is saying. Not “as” he loves his body so must he love his wife. No! A man must love his wife as his body—as a part of himself. As Eve was a part of Adam, taken out of his side, so the wife is to the man because she is a part of him.

I am stressing this because the apostle brings out clearly, namely, to show that there is this element of indissolubility57 about marriage, which, as I understand the biblical teaching, can only be broken by adultery. But what we are concerned to say now is that the apostle puts it in this form in order that a husband may see that he cannot detach himself from his wife. You cannot detach yourself from your body, so you cannot detach yourself from your wife. She is a part of you, says the apostle, so remember that always. You cannot live in isolation; you cannot live in detachment. If you realize that, there will be no danger of your thinking in detachment, no danger of your wishing and willing and desiring any detachment. Still less can there be any antagonism or hatred. Notice how he puts it: “No man,” he says, to ridicule the thing, “no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.” So, any element of hatred between husband and wife is sheer madness; it shows that the man has no conception at all as to what marriage means. “No man hated his own flesh”—but his wife is his own flesh; she is his body. So, he is to love his wife as his own body.

What does this lead to in practice? Here I come to very detailed teaching that is needed by all—Christian people as well as others. God knows, we all have failed; we all have sinned by failing to understand this teaching and to apply it in detail. The principle is that the wife is, as it were, the body of the man. So, what his body is to his personality, his wife should be to him. Out of that comes the apostle’s detailed teaching. How is a man to treat his wife? Let me give some negatives first.

He is not to abuse her. It is possible for a man to abuse his body, and many men do abuse their bodies—by eating too much, by drinking too much, and in various other ways. That is to abuse the body, to maltreat it,58 to be unkind to it. Now, says the apostle, a man who does that is a fool because if a man maltreats his body and abuses it, he himself is going to suffer. You cannot detach yourself from your body; and if you think you can, and abuse your body, you will be the one to suffer. Your mind will suffer, your heart will suffer, the whole of your life will suffer. You may say, “I do not care about my body, I am living a life of the intellect”; but if you keep on doing that, you will soon find that you no longer have the intellect that you once had, and you will not be able to think as you once did. If you abuse your body, you are the one who is going to suffer. Not only the body, but you yourself will suffer as well. It is the same in the married relationship. If a man abuses his wife, he will suffer as well as the wife. So, apart from the inherent wrongfulness, the man is a fool. If a man abuses his wife, there is going to be a breakdown not only in the wife, but also in the man, and in the relationship between the two. Surely this is what is happening so commonly in the world today. It should be unthinkable that a Christian man should abuse his wife.

But not only should the husband not abuse his wife, in the second place, he should not neglect her. Come back again to the analogy of the body. A man can neglect his body. It often happens, and again, it always leads to trouble. To neglect the body is bad, it is foolish, it is wrong. Man has been so constituted that he is body, mind, and spirit, and the three are in intimate relationship one with another. We are all surely aware of this. Take an example in terms of the frailty of the body. If I am suffering from laryngitis, I cannot preach, though I may want to do so. I may be full of ideas and of a desire to preach; but if my throat is inflamed, I cannot speak. And it is so with the whole of the body. If you neglect the body, you yourself will suffer for it. Many a man has done that, many a scholar has done that, and through neglect of the body his work has suffered. That is because of the essential unity between these parts of our personalities.

It is the same in the married relationship, says the apostle. How much trouble is caused in the realm of marriage simply because of neglect! Very recently there has been evidence in the papers by medical men who have reported that large numbers of wives today have been driven to chain smoking. Why? Simply because they have been neglected by their husbands. The husbands spend their nights out at sports, or in their public house, or playing games with their friends; and the poor wife is left at home with the children and the work. The husband comes home at night just in time to go to bed and to sleep; and he gets up and goes out in the morning. Neglect of the wife is leading to these nervous conditions that reveal themselves in excessive smoking and other manifestations of nervous tension. It is lamentable that a man should get married and then proceed to neglect his wife. In other words, here is a man who has married, but who in essential matters goes on living as if he were still a bachelor. He is still living his own detached life; he still spends his time with his men friends.

I could elaborate on this very easily, but the facts are so familiar that it is unnecessary. But I have a feeling that I detect a tendency even in Christian circles, and even in evangelical circles, to forget this particular point. A married man must no longer act as if he were a single man; his wife should be involved in everything…Of course, the man in his business has to be alone, and there are other occasions when he has to be alone; but if it is a social occasion, something into which a wife can enter, she should enter; and it is the business of the husband to see to it that she does enter…But there is another aspect of this matter that at times causes me great concern. I am constantly hearing of what sometimes has been called “evangelical widows.” The expression means that the husband of that particular type of woman is a man who is out every night at some meeting or other. His explanation, indeed his argument, is that he is engaged in good Christian work; but he seems to forget that he is a married man…The conduct of such a husband is grievously sinful. Though it is done in the name of active Christian work, a man cannot and must not contract out of his married relationship in that way because the wife is a part of him—his “better half,” not his slave.

Christian husbands must therefore examine themselves in this matter. A home is not a dormitory where a man returns to sleep. No! There is to be this active, ideal, positive relationship; and we must ever be holding it in the forefront of our mind. A man therefore must seek wisdom from God to know how to divide himself up in this respect. But I care not what a man is; if he is a married man, he must not behave as a single man, even in connection with Christian work, because in so doing he is denying the very teaching of the gospel that he claims to be preaching. There can be untold selfishness just at that point…So, I move on to the practical outworking of the teaching.

The husband must not abuse his wife, he must not neglect his wife, and, thirdly, he must never take her for granted. The positive element must always be there. A man’s wife is not just his housekeeper; there is this positive element. How can that best be brought out? Let me take the apostle’s own terms. He puts it like this: “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. No man ever yet hated his own flesh; but”—What? “Nourisheth and cherisheth it even as the Lord the church”…Once more, this can be worked out in terms of the analogy that a man does not hate his own body, but nourishes it and cherishes it. How does he do so? We can divide it up simply thus:

First of all, there is the question of diet. A man must think about his diet, about his food. He must take sufficient nourishment, he must take it regularly, and so on. All that must be worked out in terms of husband and wife. The man should be thinking of what will help his wife, what will strengthen his wife. As we take our food, we not only think in terms of calories or protein, fat, and carbohydrate; we are not purely scientific, are we? Another element comes into this question of food. We are influenced also by what appeals to the palate, by what gives us pleasure and enjoyment. So ought the husband to treat his wife. He should be thinking of what pleases her, what gives her pleasure, what she likes, what she enjoys. Of course, before he got married, he went out of his way to do this; but then after he gets married, he often stops doing so. Is that not the difficulty?…Consider her whole personality and her soul. There has to be this active thought about the development of the wife and her life in this amazing relationship that God Himself has established.

Again, there is the question of exercise. The analogy of the body suggests that at once. Exercise for the body is essential; exercise is equally essential in the married relationship. It can mean as simple a thing as this—just talking. Alas, I have known trouble in marriages so often, simply because of an absence of conversation. We all know how much there is to be said by way of excuse. A man is tired, he has been at his work or his office all day, and he comes home weary and tired and wants rest and peace. Yes, but the same thing is also true of his wife, with the difference that perhaps she has been alone all day or only had the society of little children. Whether we feel like it or not, we must talk. The wife needs exercise in this sense. Tell her about your business, about your worries, about your affairs;59 bring her into it. She is your body, she is a part of you, so allow her to speak concerning it. Consult her, let her bring her understanding to bear. She is a part of your life, so bring her into the whole of your life. Make yourself talk…I repeat once more that I know all the excuses, and how difficult it often can be; but let me put it like this—I think it is a fair argument. This man was equally tired and working equally hard before he got married; but in the days before marriage, whatever he had been doing, he was most anxious to talk to his fiancée and to bring her into everything. Why should that stop when they get married? It should not stop, says the apostle. The husband and wife are one. Look at her, and consider her as you do your body, and remember this element of exercise. Bring her into everything deliberately. It will be wonderful for her, for her development; and it will be good for you yourself because the whole marriage will grow and develop as you do so.

And that brings us to the fourth point, which is the element of protection. Here is this body—it needs food, it needs exercise; but in addition, every man has to learn to understand his own body. The apostle works out the argument. The apostle Peter, you remember, puts it like this. He tells the husband to remember that his wife is “the weaker vessel.” This means that these bodies of ours are subject to certain things. We are all different even in a physical sense. Some of us are subject, perhaps, to feeling the cold, or subject to chills in a way that does not seem to worry other men. Some of us are so constituted that we have these minor problems; and we are subject to odd infections and various other things that come to try us. What does a wise man do? He takes great care about such things: he puts on a heavy overcoat in winter, he may put on a scarf; and he refrains from doing certain things. He is protecting himself and his weak constitution against some of the hazards that come to meet us in life. “So ought men to love their wives.” Have you discovered that your wife has some peculiar temperamental weakness? Have you discovered that she has certain special characteristics? Is she nervous and apprehensive, or is she too outspoken? It does not matter what it is in particular; she has certain characteristics that are, in a sense, weaknesses. What is your reaction to them? Are you irritated or annoyed? And do you tend to condemn them and to dismiss them? Act as you do with your body, says the apostle. Protect her against them, guard her against them. If your wife happens to have been born with that worrying temperament, well, save her from it, protect her. Do everything you can to safeguard her from the weaknesses and the infirmities and the frailties; as you do so for your body, do so for your wife…She is “the weaker vessel”…

We leave it at that…We have been looking at one big principle that is most important. A man has to love his wife “even as”—because she is—his own body. “No man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.”

From Life in the Spirit in Marriage, Home, and Work: An Exposition of Ephesians 5:18-6:9 (Edinburgh; Carlisle, PA: Banner of Truth Trust, 1974), 213-221,

David Martyn Lloyd-Jones (1899-1981)

Free Grace Broadcaster Issue 241

Free Grace Broadcaster